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Michael “MJ” Curtis Jr. is accustomed to success.
He graduated from the honors program at the University of Tennessee at Knoxville College of Nursing. He led a wide range of student groups, from the Student Government Association to the Multicultural Mentoring Program to Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc. In addition to being widely involved, he was well-known and respected by his professors and peers.
“I was this golden child,” Curtis said. “I gave 110% effort to every endeavor that I pursued and felt that everything I produced would be perfect.”
That is until he took his national licensure examination (NCLEX) to become a registered nurse and failed.
“That took me aback. I had a perfectionistic ideology and thought nothing on this earth could hinder me from accomplishing my goals,” said Curtis, who later passed the exam and is now a doctor of nursing practice student at the Nell Hodgson Woodruff School of Nursing at Emory University. “It was the first time I had to be okay, not being okay.”
Curtis is far from alone. Recognizing an uptick in unrealistic expectations and fear of failure among many students, Emory University recently introduced “Reframes: Discovering the Possible” a student-facing campaign about embracing the power of reframing unexpected moments in life.
“For high-achieving students, sometimes they can feel as though if things don’t go their way, their dreams are dashed and they can’t meet the goals they set for themselves,” Dr. James Raper, Associate Vice President for Health, Wellbeing, Access and Prevention at Emory, told Inside Higher Ed. “Making mistakes comes with being human, but when you’re a college student, you don’t always have the life experience to know that yet.”
That’s why Emory invited successful faculty, staff, and alumni to get vulnerable about their own stories and help students see that life doesn’t always work out the way you plan. For example, Raper shared how he struggled with undiagnosed depression in college, which caused him to have poor grades and he was suspended. Ultimately, that unexpected detour was just the beginning of his professional journey. Instead, he found purpose and fulfillment instead as a mental health counselor with a terminal degree in his field and a campus administrator who cares deeply about students.
“It’s my hope that from the entirety of this campaign, that students’ perfectionism and anxiety about failure is interrupted, that they will instead lean into being curious about what might be around the corner,” Raper said.
Help students navigate perfectionism.
The perfectionism epidemic and its impact on mental health
In recent years, perfectionism among college students has been on the rise, fueled by the pressures of academic success, societal expectations, and the relentless pursuit of excellence. A 2022 study found that 85% of 16- to 25-year-olds identified with having perfectionistic tendencies, and more than half (52%) said it affected them negatively. While striving for high standards can be a positive trait in moderation, perfectionism often crosses the line into a debilitating mindset that affects mental health, relationships, and overall well-being.
A growing body of research suggests that perfectionism among college students has been increasing steadily over the past few decades. In 2017, the American Psychological Association (APA) published a study that examined data from over 40,000 college students in the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom between 1989 and 2016. Researchers found a significant escalation in perfectionism. The most striking increase occurred in socially prescribed perfectionism, where students feel intense pressure to meet the expectations and standards set by others, such as parents, peers, society, or social media.
The rise of perfectionism has significant consequences. Several studies have linked perfectionism to a range of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. A 2022 study found that college students who exhibited high levels of perfectionism were more likely than their peers to experience symptoms of depression or anxiety.
Perfectionism can also create a cycle of procrastination and self-criticism. Driven by a fear of failure, students who strive for perfection may delay starting tasks because they worry they won’t meet their unreasonably high standards. This cycle can be particularly destructive in the high-pressure collegiate environment, where academic demands are constant and unrelenting.
Why is perfectionism on the rise?
Several factors contribute to the rise of perfectionism in college students, including:
1. Social media
Social media platforms are everywhere and continually present students with curated, often unrealistic portrayals of their peers’ lives. The resulting comparison culture can lead to feelings of inadequacy and the belief that one must be perfect to be successful or accepted.
2. Parental expectations
As the APA Bulletin suggests, many parents are exerting more pressure on their children to excel academically and professionally. This pressure can lead to a form of perfectionism where students feel they must meet these expectations to gain approval and avoid disappointment.
3. Academic pressure
The competitive nature of college admissions, scholarships, and job placements has intensified recently. Students often feel they must achieve perfect grades, participate in numerous extracurricular activities, and secure prestigious internships to stand out in an increasingly competitive landscape.
4. Cultural shifts
The broader cultural emphasis on self-optimization and achievement has permeated educational institutions, where success is often narrowly defined by grades and accolades. This environment can foster a mindset where anything less than perfection is deemed unacceptable.
“There’s such a desire to be perfect, to succeed in their major, to land that perfect internship, to land that perfect job, or to get into that particular graduate school, that students become stressed and burned out,” said Dr. Nicole Guerrero Trevino, Vice President of Student Success at TimelyCare. “As a result, students will often work, work, work, and not take care of themselves.”
For Curtis, his fear of failure was at least in part rooted in feeling like he would let everyone around him down – his community, his mom (who’s also a registered nurse), his extended family, and the College of Nursing, which boasted a 99% pass rate.
“I had to say that I was that 1% that did not pass. A lot of weight was on my shoulders, especially thinking about the folks who depended on me to succeed. I didn’t want them to say that if Michael couldn’t make it, then I wouldn’t be able to do it either,” he said.
Mitigating the impact of perfectionism
While perfectionism can be challenging to overcome, students can implement these strategies to manage its effects:
1. Embrace a growth mindset
Encouraging students to adopt a growth mindset, where mistakes become learning opportunities, can help reduce the fear of failure that often accompanies perfectionism.
2. Set realistic goals
Helping students set achievable goals aligned with their values and interests, rather than external expectations, can reduce the pressure to be perfect.
3. Seek support
Students should be encouraged to seek support from mental health professionals, academic advisors, or trusted peers when they feel overwhelmed by perfectionism. Counseling services can offer coping strategies and tools to manage stress and anxiety.
4. Practice self-compassion
Encouraging self-compassion, where students are kind to themselves in moments of failure or difficulty, can help counteract the harsh self-criticism that perfectionism often entails.
“Recharging, taking care of yourself, and being mindful of your mental health are just a few ways to put perfectionism in its place,” said Trevino.
These practices ring true for Curtis as well. “In hindsight, I wasn’t secure in how I thought about myself, and I allowed the perspectives of other people as well as my own unrealistic expectations to define me. Now, I understand that I’m more than just a pass or fail on an NCLEX examination; I’m more than a VP of this organization, and I am more than my previous experiences. I am a perfectly imperfect person, and I’ve been doing the work to understand who I am.”
How Reframes can help students experiencing perfectionism
Perfectionism in college students is a growing concern. By understanding the factors contributing to this rise and implementing strategies to mitigate its effects, students can learn to navigate the pressures of academic excellence without sacrificing their mental health and overall well-being. As educators, parents, and peers, it’s crucial to foster environments that promote balance, resilience, and self-compassion, allowing students to thrive both academically and personally.
That’s exactly what Emory is trying to do with Reframes, which has started an important campuswide conversation and struck a chord with its key audience.
“So far, we’ve hit the mark with students feeling seen and heard with this experience. There are some throughlines about what it means to be human, and that’s what really resonates with our students,” said Raper.
That message has resonated so well across the Emory community that Curtis used the exact same words to describe it.
“The Reframes campaign is showing what it means to be human. On social media, we only see the successes, but we don’t really see the hard times – times when someone may have been crying at night or didn’t sleep just trying to figure out one small issue,” said Curtis. “You see these folks in these wonderful positions, and they’re humans, too. They’re not painting this picture of just a superhero or somebody who has everything together. They’re showing that your story does not define your end. If you make a mistake, you have an opportunity to change that narrative and move forward.”
“TimelyCare has most certainly positively impacted my academics. That’s been such a stressor in my life since I came to college – trying to maintain your social life, your well-being, your academics, and your job. It’s all just piles on top of each other. Through TimelyCare, I have learned that I don’t need to be perfect all the time, and I don’t need to be 100% with all these things. That has allowed me to be okay with not always getting an ‘A’ on something, or even just having a bad day in class.”
Megan Chambers
Student
Coastal Carolina University
